Destination: Wedding

The Wedding Beat by Devan Sipher

Last weekend I felt the first hint of spring as I watched a bride-to-be and her maid of honor scoping out earrings. As they held them up to their ears, they talked about whether the antique style would match the lace embroidered bodice the gown or whether to keep it simple and wear a small pendant instead.  It’s wedding season. It’s the time of year when my email inbox, fills up with countless press releases each day about everything from brand new cuts and colors in diamonds to weather stacking or wide is the new trend in bands. As a single woman living in Manhattan, who has never been married, I am happy to see a beautiful new opaque rose cut center stone-which by the way is just as perfect for my middle finger as it is for someone’s ring finger-but watching all the happy couples around, I sill get a pang of yearning, wondering if it will ever happen for me.

So it was inspiring, as a jewelry editor continually in search of a band of gold to read the comic novel based on a guy who is “always the wedding columnist and never the groom.” Devan Sipher’s new novel The Wedding Beat (NAL/Penguin) is loosely based on his real life experience as the Vows wedding reporter for The New York Times. Sipher nails the guy’s perspective on romance with wit, warmth and insight. I was completely charmed by Sipher’s protagonist Gavin Greene’s plight to date in the not always ‘fair’ city of New York and find the right woman for himself, while interviewing and delving deeply into the relationships of the couples he is writing about for the newspaper he works.

Reading the book in one night, I was in awe by the deft way Sipher infused his characters and the story-with heart, humor, and offered a perceptive handle on what it’s like to be the single person–not just in a city, an event or a room full of doubles– but deep in a career that is all about couples. Some of my favorite parts of the book include Gavin’s date with a soap opera actress, who he takes to the famous NYC Nobu restaurant and finds out her time with him has helped her with her decision to move in the very next day with her boyfriend.  Sipher transports me back to my awkward adolescent years when he writes about Gavin’s twelve year-old self being embarrassed on a bus after the girl got up the nerve to call recorded a conversation of him trying to ask her out. His online dating scenarios are hysterical and so true. The entire novel had me feeling like I was reading the fictional character of a male version of …well…me.

Gavin goes through all the development stages of being a certain age and alone, falling head over heels at chance meetings and suffering missed opportunities until he goes through finding out what he thought he wanted, realizing what he desires now; who he really is and who he is meant to be with.

The Wedding Beat, which hits bookstores and on-line booksellers today, April 3, 2012 is a must read for anyone who wants to laugh, remember their own relationships, root for the guy to get the girl and for romance to win out in the end.

With that said, I am still in search of the left hand ring but for all of you girls out there who have found the ‘right’ man–I’ve been able scour the antique fairs and markets, showrooms and shops and have come up with some alternative engagement and wedding styles whether your perfect match is more traditional, a little flawed and wild or tender and tough. Check out these designers: Megan Thorne, Cathy Waterman, Dawes Designs, and Jessica Fields.

Megan Thorne engagement ring

Dawes Design engagement rings

Cathy Waterman

Revisiting Gatsby

Still from 2012 Remake of The Great Gatsby

When I was reading the Great Gatsby in high school, one of my all time favorite novels from one of my all time favorite authors, it was the ’70s and as I turned the pages,  I was wearing Elsa Peretti’s sculptural cuff for Tiffany & Co. which  I received for my sweet sixteen to match the long swirling open heart pendant she had designed.  I was pleased to learn that Catherine Martin, costume designer for the 2012 Baz Luhrmann remake of the 1974 film, (based on the book and starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Carey Mulligan) had raided the archives of Tiffany & Co., which signifies each decade so well.  Martin went to the renown house to recreate the platinum, diamond and pearl jewelry that evoked the era of opulence of the elite social set.

While reading the book, I wished I was I was dancing the night away at one of the parties on Long Island in a shimmering cocktail numbers that shimmied when I moved. I loved being transported away to a different place and time, due to my preadolescent sleepovers at my grandmother’s house when we’d dress up in a mix of her long strands of glass beads, tassel earrings and authentic art deco bracelets while she taught me the Charleston and we pretended ginger-ale was champagne, which we drank out of her best crystal.

I am a big fan of authentic art deco jewelry and the less costly costume versions mixed together as well as the roaring twenties fashion –beaded and slinky slip dresses, handkerchief hemlines and the more dramatic fringe styles

It also isn’t surprising that the international spring runways were filled with 1920’s inspired looks, from the more geometric patterns at Caroline Herrera to the prohibition silhouettes at Marc Jacobs, the speakeasy styles at Marchesa and the pull-out -all -the-stops modern revivals of the Jazz Age at Ralph Lauren.

Lauren, in a sense, played homage to himself since he created costumes for the for the 1974 adaptation of Fitzgerald’s novel for the big screen when he outfitted Robert Redford and Mia Farrow.

His show was chock full of swinging earrings, elongated chains and pearls and feminine dresses, brimming with the right accessories–cloche hats and small headdresses.

The rest of the designers gave us their own takes on flappers and thoroughly modern women a la Josephine Baker, Collette and Coco Chanel.

Fine jewelry designers are creating pieces that range from straight-line bracelets and multiple necklaces to swinging earrings that have various cuts in softer and more geometric forms. Ivanka Trump has a vast assortment of styles for the lover of art deco inspired-styles, as does Penny Preville.   Smaller designers such as Emily Keifer and Sofia Kaman for Kamofie are all getting a little jazzy this season.  I have dusted off my high school copy of The Great Gatsby with it’s yellowed pages and plan on reading it, while sipping ginger-ale in champagne glasses and hanging out in ropes of diamonds and pearls.

Kamofie Earrings

Carolina Herrera Spring 2012 Runway

Ivanka Trump Cuffs

Ralph Lauren Spring 2012 runway show

Ivanka Trump Earrings

Still from the 1974 Film, The Great Gatsby

Ralph Lauren Spring 2012 Runway

AGE DEFIANT

Penny Preville 18K, moonstone and diamond earrings

There it was in my email in box again. The same press release I received a couple of months ago with a headline touting “Anti-Aging” jewelry.

I may be a pushover for jewelry with a message or meaning, gems with symbolism and I am just superstitious enough to wear a neck-full of charms when I fly to ensure that the plane land safely (and I do believe it is the talisman given to me by friends and family rather than trained pilots and high-tech control towers that allows my feet to touch the ground). I have been known to wear amulets to ward off evil and bring good luck. I sleep with a rose quartz under my pillow for love, wear a lotus leaf for new beginnings– and being single– every time I see a full moon, I think about taking off a moonstone earringand putting it in my mouth “to bring my lover to me” (wherever or whoever he might be).

But there is no way, I am buying into the marketing strategy of jewelry that helps with anti-aging. Sorry.I just can’t imagine any piece of gold or silver is going to smooth out the furrows deepening on my forehead and you are not going to get me to believe in pendants or bracelets to get rid of  those crepe paper like creases around my eyes. I’ve put my trust in the more brilliantly packaged age-defying creams and serums. Bottles of which have now spread to fill up my shelves in my small NYC bathroom but have not filled in my frown and laugh lines.

It took me around five years longer than the average person to think of Botox as anything but the same “formula” that came in dented soup and vegetable cans that I was told to look out for every time I had to feed my brothers when I was young. Shooting botulism into ones head seemed as appealing as mistaking Mr. Clean for lemonade.

But I was finally able to come to terms with the syringes that would raise my friends eye brows and freeze their frown lines as a medical miracles, just as I have marveled at how other fillers and injectables help retain a youthful, if not Barbie-like appearance every time I turn on an awards show. Figuring out who had what done has become as much of a sport for me as betting on the jewelry being worn in the red carpet.

I am also a devout believer in the power of strength resistance training. Toning your biceps goes a long way in gaining confidence that it’s your bracelets jangling rather than your upper arms. Unlike the press release (I have just re-read) will have me believe– it’s not the other way around–in no way are my bracelets firming my arms.

Nor will necklaces or layered pendants bring back the once swan like neck that overnight seemed to have transformed into chicken skin.

Jewelry, while magical, just does not have that particular power.

Creams, lotions, potions and oils with water from the Adriatic sea and natural floral concoctions–maybe?–or at least the texture of which could make you feel and think you are smoother as you slather it on.

But when I receive a press release that basically tells me a company

has created a line of anti-aging amulet jewelry “to make you feel young without the costly creams or injections.” I really have to question how an Evil Eye bracelet and Hamsa hand pendant can help you retain the texture of your skin around your eyes when you are wearing them on your wrist and neck?

My suggestion for this company is to go back and talk about  what these amulets were originally used which was protection from bad luck. This I might fall for and invest in–just  like my “in flight” charms, rose quartz and moonstones  and this new facial mask my friend just sent me from Japan.

But please leave the “anti-aging” marketing to the beauty experts and dermatologists — I want a potion for my wrinkles and something that sparkles for my superstitions.

TIME and TIME AGAIN-( guest blogger, Jeff Volan)

Yet another guy seems to know more about jewelry and…women then I might  have given him credit for. (and is a pretty good writer for a business entrepreneur) So with my data on my crashed computer “just” recovered–and deadlines keeping me up all night–I am turning one more week’s post over to another guest blogger. But, hey..if you are having  as much fun reading the guys as I am, please feel free to write in and ask for more!

Guest Blogger-Jeff Volan

ID Bracelet

BINGO, my Mom seemed to shout as she rounded up another well to do Jewish widower. Marv was my second stepfather and he popped the question on the first date!  Seriously? Another new Dad already? I can’t completely recall, but my Mom must have been a real looker. However I do remember Marv. Medium height and build and a bit on the geeky, nerdy side, he drove a Lincoln Continental, when they were huge and made of solid Pennsylvania steel.

It didn’t take long for Mom to become used to the finer things. Tickets to the NYC Ballet, Symphony and Opera were weekly ventures, which I managed to stay out of. Instead, she dragged me on all day shopping sprees and out for high noon tea. But as a thirteen year-old boy, I knew I had better things to do, like play football and kiss as many girls as possible. It was the age of the I.D. Bracelet and the presentation to the opposite sex represented that we were “going steady”. It took a lot of thought before offering this hunk of metal, with my name etched into it in CAPITAL letters, with a heavy duty chain that slide into the end until it clicked shut. The standard practice was to get it back after the inevitable break up three weeks to a month later.

Around the same time I began asking girls to go steady, I also began to observe how deeply Marv cared for my Mother and I learned a few things about women. A couple of times a week, he’d show up with flowers “just because” and quite often strolled through the front door with jewelry. Once with Marv in NYC, I stared blindly into the cases in a small shop where silver, gold, diamonds and gems were displayed.  This was all new to me,   big time stuff with big time price tags. While in the store I was struck by a girl around the same age as me. She was playing with a large heart shaped pendant set with two beautiful Ceylon sapphires that were the color of her eyes. The girl, like the pendant, was perfectly arranged, dazzling yet spoke silently and mesmerized me.  Although surrounded by precious gems, I so wished I had my ID bracelet with me. I would have wrapped it around her wrist right then and there, without a second thought.  We began to share some smiles then stories, and with the counter person looking on  the girl handed me the pendant dangling from a chain. It had texture, substance and character. It felt like I was touching something much more than just a necklace. As the girl and I exchanged names and continued to talk and laugh, I finally understood Marv’s instant proposal to my mother. And,I quickly leaned over and kissed her.

  

I’ve traveled to a few places since my younger years, from the gold souks in Dubai to hunting for fresh pearls under the sea. I once wore a Saint Christopher around my neck, until it completed its promise to protect me. These medallions only work once, so I didn’t push my luck. It remains somewhere in a country far, far away.

 

Today, I stand with no watch, no ring, no bracelet or anything (and sound a bit like a Dr. Suess rhyme) but I can attest to the power of adornment. Recently while visiting my Mom, she showed me some of her jewelry collection. An eclectic mix that she received as gifts and even a few self purchased pieces. She told me stories that went with each and I could see in her eyes that these were much more than material possessions. This jewelry was a part of her life and her history: cameos past down from my grandmother and a vintage fob watch owned by my great grandfather. It was a great opportunity to get to know my Mom a bit better.

 

During our visit, my mom was still dragging me shopping, and I saw her walking towards me on the street — the girl who had held the pendant in the store 39 years before.  I could never forget her or how she captured me the first time. And, she is still most beautiful, still has the prettiest “sapphire” eyes I’ve ever seen. She remembered me too, hugged me warmly, like no time had passed, and in that moment, spoke to me silently.  I felt mesmerized all over again.

Romancing The Stone (Guest Blog)

Guest Blog by Michael Giulietti (aka Paolo)

I was ten and at an Italian ski resort the first time I gave a ‘woman’ jewelry. She was eighteen and to prove my love, I left a gift of dark purple shiny beads by her door, which I was sure would make up for our eight-year age difference. She sweetly accepted the gift but turned down my proposal of undying devotion. Heartbroken, I wasn’t aware that this would be the one time that I’d give jewelry and declare my feelings without trepidation to a special woman.

Buying jewelry is a stressful proposition. Is there a pecking order: should silver come first and then gold?  Is there a way to signify stages? feelings? Cooly inquire about men who have bestowed gifts before? Eventually, it was time to stop questioning and boldly go where I’ve never gone before—into a jewelry store.

I began dating Jen, an American dancer, living in my native Milan. I apprehensively looked at rings and quickly decided that they represented a commitment I wasn’t ready for. Instead, I chose an ornate crystal choker. Jen admitted it was so tight that cut off her air supply. She had left magazines opened to the page of her favorite designer and his simple sculptural jewelry, which was graceful like her. I learned two lessons: follow the signs and look for the right match. We broke up six months later.

Later, I met Arianna. For her birthday, I purchased a Turkish crafted sterling silver necklace, modern and tongue-cheek in its design. More of a wearable piece of sculpture than traditional jewelry, upon closer look the piece revealed a naked human with open arms. I was aware of the possible meanings to be read into this symbol of an extremely manly man, attached to my girlfriend’s neck. “Was I showing sexual insecurity? Did I have any taste whatsoever?”

But when I gave it to Arianna, she was thrilled and I was relieved.  Eventually, I realized the naked guy carved out of silver, which she wore so close to her heart, would remain in her life long after me.

My international marketing career had me transferring back and forth from the US to my native Italy. While working in New York for a year, I started seeing Bettina. A writer and jewelry expert, Bettina introduced me to a world with which I was unfamiliar. “I don’t want to see a bunch of jewelry,” I said snobbishly about a Castellani exhibit that she dragged me to in Manhattan.

“But it’s as much of your heritage as the Vatican and as much of an art as its frescoes,” Bettina said as I marveled at the intricate pieces behind the glass cases.

Although I wear cufflinks, I’d never understood the beauty of French enameling or seen certain gemstones. For Christmas’ and birthdays, Bettina would either find beautiful antique styles or have links made out of exclusively cut stones. I not only got an education of different time periods and great masters, I was now the receiver of jewelry.

Bettina and I continued to see each other long after I was transferred to Rome. She’d come to Italy for her work and I would go back to New York for holidays. I knew she had a penchant for antique pieces, and I searched shops in Milan, Rome and Manhattan.

‘Jewel’ in Italian is related to the word ‘joy’. How to give that gioia di vivere to Bettina, not merely a mortal woman whom I cared for deeply–but also my teacher—with impeccable taste-who reviewed and designed jewelry for a living? You might have been just a tad apprehensive too.  Every time I spotted a pair of earrings, rings or bracelets I thought she would appreciate, I’d get so close to purchasing it and then would totally loss my nerve.

Although my time with Bettina was the closest I’ve come to purchasing a significant piece of jewelry for a woman, I still hope to recapture the courageous young boy who was able to declare his feelings with audacity and present a gift of love with a completely open heart.

Just a note for my readers (some names have been changed for the purpose of the guest blog—including, well, mine) But you can learn a lot more about all aspects of  “Paolo”  and… what he finally does purchase in the way of jewelry… in my memoir: “My Charmed Life: Rocky Romances, Precious Family Connections and Searching For a Band of Gold, NAL/Penguin, July 3, 2012.

In the meantime, I would like to thank Michael/Paolo for contributing a post to this blog and sharing his experience and feelings so openly,  And…for giving me a breather (after my computer crashed and I was told my hard drive was “toast”—and asked by my favorite apple techs “why in hell hadn’t backed up for a week”) … Hopefully  I’ll  get through “the recovery” and back in action again next Monday with a new post.

DATING JEWELRY

David Cassidy wearing puka shells, seventies

Recently men I’ve gone out with seem genuinely interested in what I do.  So much so that one guy showed up wearing a necklace akin to puka shells on our first date. He proudly pointed to show me that he owned and wore this choker length strand just for me. Although, I admired his attempts at pleasing me, I couldn’t get passed the fact that he was forty-eight and didn’t know that this was distracting me from listening to what could have been stimulating conversation, had I been able to pay attention. Instead, I kept wishing he was David Cassidy and I was back in the ’70s at an age when I didn’t have to worry much about whether there would be chemistry , if he was financially stable, sane, single and straight.  But, would have been happy if he just knew how to French Kiss.

Another guy, who a mutual friend thought was “perfect for me” was handsome, tall with green eyes, dressed in a pair of Levis and cashmere sweater, He was charming, witty and wearing a classic vintage Cartier watch.  I was high five-ing[  my friend in my head and hoping for a second date until he asked me what I thought of his watch. When I told him, it was perfect, he puffed out his chest and said “my mother bought it for me.” I assumed this MUST mean it was for his graduation from college or grad school, like twenty some-odd years ago. Nope. She had just picked it out for him this past year along with three new sport jackets.  He explained, “I am completely inept at dressing myself. My mother has always picked out my clothes.” I no longer wondered why he was divorced but I did wonder if I should part from the friend who introduced us. And then I thought maybe I should date his mother.

My ex-boyfriend/now friend Paolo calls and I start to tell him about this and (after he gets over the shock that I am dating again–after two years of not seeing him) he reminds me, “You didn’t have a problem with my cuff link collection.” “Really?” I ask teasingly.  I remember when he showed me his treasure chest of links and I made exception because he was Italian, spoke with a sexy accent, wore custom-made suits and shirts with French cuffs and had more style that any guy I’d ever met “Don’t you remember I said I thought that it might be difficult to date a guy who owns more jewelry than me?”  He laughs like he did the first time I said it and we reminisce about how I taught him about the famous Castellani permanent collection of jewelry housed at a museum in Rome, as much a part of his culture as Frescos and the Vatican.  I also taught him about different gemstones. He took all in and was eventually able to identify ruby from spinel.

Which brings me back to the present to another American guy I had gone out with several times. Everything was going smoothly until he started rattling off his knowledge of Mother-of-Pearl, high karat gold and the Four C’s. Although I should have been flattered that he was trying to impress me with his knowledge, I felt it was similar to the dating faux pas of telling me a detailed account of all of his past sexual experiences with the women he obviously bought this jewelry for.

“You’re way too hard on me. I thought you’d like that I knew about what you did for a career.” Not so much. I would have preferred if I’d been the one to teach him about opals and baroque pearls.

I know that I am hard to please when it comes to guys. So, when it comes to jewelry I would like them to take subtle hints about it from me– and perhaps not let on about what they purchased for someone else. I would also like them not to wear anything but a watch (hopefully given to them by  their mother  as an heirloom or when they were too young to buy it for themselves), cuff links, and a wedding band to let me know if they are married (as I strongly stated two blogs back).

Tonight before writing this post, I met a guy who heard that I have a book being published, which is coming out this summer. We talked favorite authors, rare editions and our favorite novels of all time. I was incredibly happy that he was not trying to seduce me with his knowledge of jewelry and that the wedding band he wasn’t wearing really meant that he wasn’t married, rather that it was just “too tight or uncomfortable, so he left it off. ” He took my number and asked if he should wait the appropriate three days to call and I shook my head  no.

“Yeah. Stupid rule,” he had a mischievous smile. “How bout tomorrow I give you a ring? –Maybe it’s not one for my finger but it’s definitely one I’ll be hoping for.

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Get The Hint-again…

Karin Jameison Moonstone and gold earrings

I had posted this blog originally around Christmas time. But feeling that it needs a re-post and some minor changes for Valentine’s Day. To my male friends out there who save everything till the last minute…Just making sure you are paying attention, “getting the hint” and getting out of your office and no  (not to the flower, chocolate  or lingerie shop!) but to the jewelry store.

Once again it’s a time of year when all my women friends tell me secretly what jewelry they want their husbands, boyfriends or significant others to purchase for them. Then, I am supposed to discreetly–and without giving away the ‘plan’– pass this information along, by calling or emailing said husband, boyfriend or S-O for the first time all year, to somehow nonchalantly, offer them my unbiased and completely innocent advice. Inevitably whether I make the initial call or other friends are enlisted to assist in the process, this is  an enactment of how subtly it works:

John:   ”Jenny called you to tell me exactly what jewelry she wants for Valentine’s Day.” (statement, no question mark)

Me: “Well, I wouldn’t say that exactly…she kind of gave a wish list.”

John: “She has more than one item?” (definitely a question)

Me: “No, no it’s one.”

John: Trying to be witty…”And if I decide to get her an iPad 2 instead?

Me: “She will hit you over the head with it and you won’t be able to return it in thirty days in its original condition.” ….And then I go for it:  ”If you don’t comply,  I can’t promise you that you will have a sex life, or those golf clubs you wanted for your birthday.”

John: “Okay. Where do I meet you?”

Now that the cat’s out of the proverbial bag about how it works, remember this for next year: we don’t have to come up with the master plan. Just tell me what you want and I’ll procure it for you..

But –there is always a but– and this is directed at the girls! If you want anything that he doesn’t understand, forget it right now. He will not get you the new spiky necklace because he doesn’t find sharp objects around your neck sexy. Ditto for the fabulous web bracelet, which has the pave spider caught in the corner.  He has been killing all the bugs and keeping the creatures away since he met you.

He will spend hours trying to understand why the hell you would want  a rough or rose cut brown or black diamond-or diamond beads–”where is the sparkle, too dark and dreary–no one will ever know they’re diamonds– are you sure?” I’ve had this conversation.  Last year I spent three hours convincing one hubby that a white rose cut  in a simple setting for a pendant was what his wife truly and deeply wanted. And, “no I was not mistaken.” I neglected to have the frank talk–see above enactment–and I actually had to prove that his wife would accept this as a ‘real’ diamond.

If you aren’t married or engaged and he’s not planning on it in the very near future, like say, for Valentine’s Day, there is no way he will buy you a ring. Not a cocktail style, three-dimensional fantasy version, not even one with a snake slithering up your finger. Rings are just not in a guy’s jewelry vocabulary. Especially not eternity bands or stackables. I once had a guy break out into a cold sweat, turn a paler shade of white,  need a liter of water just because I showed him the thinnest of micro pave bands in yellow gold with yellow diamonds. Didn’t matter that it was for her pinky  where she wore three others.  He kept saying it was a wedding band. It sent him fleeing.

So my advice to all women out there with wish lists and hints…and their favorite stores clued in on the covert operation: buy all aforementioned pieces as self purchases and go for some intriguing but guy friendly pieces. Earrings are always a winner, particularly in moonstone which has mystical connotations, as are pendants with a romantic yet safe motif: floral or lacy openwork  with a dash of muted gems. Diamonds are his best friend too and he will go for the rose cuts and even the polished roughs  if it’s explained to him with care and if your favorite salesperson can ply him with a few, or possibly many beers…

Another small tip, if he’s never seen you wearing bracelets and this year you’re hankering for some bangles,  borrow and wear them and let him hear them clank on your wrist so he notices.

Although he knows it’s a set up and he’s going a long with it because it does make it so much damn easier for him and allows him time to post scores and sports stats on FB, he will still want to feel like he has some say and he will gravitate more to purchasing jewelry he can picture you in.

And if this has the desired effect for you whomever  reads this, you owe me one fix up–with a fantastic guy who, if it works out, I can send to you for my jewelry next year.

Kamofie diamond bezel set bracelets

Nam Cho antique stylediamond floral necklaceIla&I earrings

A Natural History

gold examples from AMNH

For me, the week between Christmas and New Years is a time for spending some quality time with anyone in my family under 15. Or, so I thought, until my nephew Robert, 12, told me he wanted to go to the American Museum of Natural History on our yearly holiday outing.  Since he hadn’t asked me to do this in years, I’d forgotten that we would be waiting on line and weighing ourselves on Mars with–the ENTIRE Manhattan school system on winter break.

Soon I realized it wasn’t just the NYC out-of-school-ers, but those from the tri-state area, Italy, Denmark and Japan. You name it. Kids of ages of sizes–that wanted to see the mammals, the dinosaurs and those that wanted to get back to the hot dog concessions outside– oodles of kids, kicking, screaming, speaking different languages and spilling Coca Cola into my crushed leather handbag.

While still on line to get tickets, I turned to Robert and asked, “So how bout bowling instead?”

My nephew wanting to stay, pointed to the the Hall of Minerals and Gems on the museum map and asked with nonchalant smoothness, “Don’t you love this collection. I think we should go there first.” He had me. At 12, he already knows how to win girls hearts (through offering up jewels) and how to work me into getting exactly what he wants. Big deal if he had to put up with my describing the difference between platinum and Palladium and that amethyst is really quartz. He took it in stride.

I am lucky enough to have a nephew who, when gold was at it’s high this year, told me  “if you melt down all that you have, your net worth would go way up and you could split it with me.”

His financial skills aside, he has an affinity for all things prehistoric or in their natural form, stuff that comes from the earth, from the sky to the sea. And, he has been to see this permanent exhibition with me since he was four. I helped him start his own mineral collection from bins of stones at the Museum Shop. Many times at my house he would excavate my own collection of rough gems and geodes that I kept in a large bowl, asking for the ones he thought were unusual and those, he just liked saying their names.

After getting lost three times, we made it to the Minerals and Gems Hall. I began to breath, relax and drown out the toddler tantrums. I was rocked into a meditative state–aware of all the beauty around me, all the pieces of history that began my love for jewelry. I was entranced by the myriad colors of tourmaline and garnet, the fancy colored sapphires from different parts of the world, the rough diamonds, the way gold looks like tiny little granulated flowers when mined, the natural occurrences in the minerals when the come directly from the earth.

As I was explaining various gems and properties to Robert –who was interested in discussing the history and lore, the legend and the nature of what he was seeing-I was taken by the magical feeling of rediscovering my true love all over again.

I finally said, “To the Dinosaurs”, trying to break lose from a five year-old who was grabbing at my shoes.

“Nah lets go see the Blue Whale,” Robert said. “There is a display I think you will love–diving for pearls and also some great coral reef sections. He was right.

Later over cheeseburgers and French fries, I wondered if it was my nephew who knew I needed to reconnect with my passion –and took me–on our outing this year.

P.S-To all parents and the truly wonderful little ones out of school, wishing you the happiest New Year, twinkling with less gadgets and apps and more golden memories, crystallized minerals, meteorites and finding out what your weight is on Mars.

“Put A Ring On It”

Benchmark Rings

“I see you were waiting for me,” a tall, slightly graying and well built man says.

“Yes” I smile, without hesitation. What I don’t say is…All My Life…while he lifts my 30lb carry-on into to overhead bin and sits down in the seat next to me.

Fifteen minutes into our conversation of why I am on my way to Indianapolis and finding out that he lives maybe 10 or so minutes from my family, his wife calls and asks him to pick up kid’s Tylenol on his way home and he responds “does Brian have a fever and did Molly go to school?”

Earlier on I had looked down at his finger.  No wedding band, no white faded line, no sign that there was a significant other, but here we were with 2 sniffing  kids. Okay, you all know that I may watch too many Nora Ephron movies. I also believe in the serendipity of  meeting a mate (for life) on a plane–with the help of a cousin who has done so and some girlfriends who inspire me by insisting–“when flying, lose the sweatpants and wear some blush.” Adding, “guys do travel for business a lot.”

The letdown is huge when you find out that none of these guys seem to be single, straight or available. Sure this has happened to me before,  and no, not only on planes. But there is something about the altitude at 35,000 feet, when I am seated in 8D and 8C is finally (after 22 previous flights) a steamy green-eyed man that doesn’t take up both my seat and his, that isn’t dropping guacamole or pasta sauce on either of us and  doesn’t wind up falling asleep and drooling on me. Then… somewhere into sharing our abridged life stories, favorite movies and handing him his drink, I find out that his wife’s name is Sarah and I wind up giving him advice on jewelry for her.

On the way home from Indy, I counted all the guys left fingers with wedding bands  and I am telling you there were way too few of them,  even with my limited mathematical abilities for 32 rows deep and 3 and 2 rows across.

While I know my readership is primarily women, except for my guy friends and writers, (thank you for reading, btw)…I am asking you all to pass this along. I am instituting a new jewelry rule.  Yes, rule!

If you are married and you are a man, it’s your duty to wear a wedding band. It’s that simple. And believe me, I am not one of those woman who like men in bling. Anything that smacks of gold chains, pinky rings, ponytails and pierced ears says mid life crisis, The Real Husbands of New Jersey or rap star wanna-be to me.  A cool silver bracelet, maybe a talisman around your neck, cuff links for guys who wears a suit for work and a vintage watch all will bespeak who you are without shouting…and guess what…so should your WEDDING BAND.  And, yes, well maybe I was shouting just then.

There are many different materials and styles to be found out there and I suggest that if you aren’t wearing yours because–“it’s not comfortable”, your “finger swelled,” you swelled or got larger…. or  you misplaced it and decided to get an iPad instead—go out and invest in a band in your new size. Metals such as stainless steel and platinum are hypo-allergenic and there are cool materials such as Titanium..okay? (see also: bikes and tennis raquets)  There are all different widths in the simplest of bands.  There are aged looking oxidized styles and those with a subtle motif. Trust me, there is one out there just for you. Check out companies like Benchmark  and Unique Settings and designers such as  Sarah Graham, Rebecca Overmann and David Heston for Heston Designs and Scott Kay’s SK Colbalt  collection.

Before I try and get engagement rings instituted as a custom for men, I would first like to suggest that you males not get on a plane ring-less to distract me from  my “happily-ever-after” fantasy…a cute guy with all ten fingers free, and also free to ask me for dinner or drinks…

SK Cobalt

Young Turqs

Russell Jones Turquoise earrings

After attending this summer’s edition of the JA New York show, I decided to re-share my post on turquoise from last year. It’s still in many of the most talented and innovative designer collections,  looking best in unusual cuts from three-dimensional to geodes and in a variety of hues from the calming blues to the more  organic greenish hues.  While talking with Ray Griffiths, a jewelry designer and friend, he explained,  “turquoise is a happy color. It says yes.”

Not quite sure if it was always that way for me– the whole happy, yes turq thing. I have a bit of a bluesy turquoise past (see last year’s post here) but it’s clear that in the future of jewelry, turquoise is a gem that works into many different lifestyles and offers customers a range of looks from more ethnic to modern. I’ve also posted a few more pics of the pieces I found:  And I continue to say free yourself from wearing this seasonless stone only a summer color and wear it year round! I have let go of  my less than ‘happy’ associations with this stone and covet a pair of earrings  from Russell Jones. Not to be missed: Penny Preville, Ray Griffiths, Anzie and Jane Bohan,  just to name a few. And still going strong are the designers I mentioned in last year’s post.

Ray Griffiths Crown texture and turquoise pendant

Penny Preville Turquoise & Pave diamond pendant